Being pregnant sucks.
This thing is constantly trying to rip my insides out. I have to pee all the time. I want to eat everything in sight. The burger bar across the street thinks I’m absolutely insane – last time I went, I literally ordered a four patty burger, extra cheese, extra pickles, extra bacon, and bacon on the side. I swear the guy looked at me like I sprouted another head. Whatever. I’m not gaining any weight because the demon is making me throw up every other minute – I’ll eat what I want.
Dominic came to talk to me the other day. He was super depressed – apparently he and his wife separated. As if I’m surprised. He cheated on her. And got me pregnant. If she’d stayed with him I wouldn’t have pitied her at all. But anyways. He says he’ll be there for me. Support me however he can. Even asked if I wanted him to move in with me. I think he’s mostly just desperate for a place to live. Apparently he’s been living in a hotel.
I don’t really want to let him move in, but it’d probably be nice to have someone help with the rent. It’s only a one bedroom though. I’m not letting him sleep in my bed. It’s bad enough I slept with him when he was married. I’m not about to be the rebound.
He’s just so pitiful. Why am I the one consoling him? He got me pregnant! I’m literally carrying some kind of demon spawn because of him. And now I can’t get promoted past washing dishes because they don’t want a pregnant girl serving alcohol. Says it looks bad. It’s not like I’m drinking it. I think it’s discrimination. Not like I can afford to sue them.
Maybe I will let him live with me.
Am I not good enough?
Is our family not good enough?
Am I too prudeish?
What did I do to deserve this?
Why would he do this to me?
To our family?
I’ve seen the young lady around town before. She lives in the huge property on the island. Or used to – I guess she got kicked out. Was Dominic trying to be comforting and she took advantage? Did he take advantage of her? I don’t understand. I thought we were happy. I thought he was happy.
Sibohan is really upset, moreso than Morgan, which I’m pretty surprised about. Morgan has always been closer to him. She’s just angry. She keeps asking why I kicked him out. I haven’t really explained the details to her – how do I even begin? “Your father decided I wasn’t good enough for him so he decided to sleep with someone who’s barely older than your sister. Oh and he got her pregnant. So you’re going to have a little brother or sister.” Sib knows what’s going on – I expected her to be the angry one, but she’s just sad.
“I’m sorry this happened, Mom.”
“I’m sorry too baby.”
“Why do you think….?”
“I have no idea. I wish I knew.”
“Is he still our Dad?”
“Of course. That will never change.”
“But he’s not your husband?”
“No baby. He’s not my husband. Not anymore.”
She hugged me tightly and I did my best not to cry. I was supposed to comforting her, and she was comforting me.
“It’s not your fault. Thank you for being so grown-up about it.”
“Not like Morgan, you mean?”
I almost laughed. How the two of them hadn’t killed each other was beyond me. It was only going to be harder now.
“She’s dealing with it her own way. Nothing wrong with that.”
She hugged me again. This time I could feel her tears through my shirt. “Everything’s going to be fine. You won’t even know the difference.”
I think I’m trying to convince myself more than her.